Thursday, November 08, 2007

Why I Live in an Apartment

I live in an apartment, on purpose. I have no desire to own house nor to live in one, really. I live alone and like knowing there are people close by or who might miss me if they didn't see every so often. Besides that, I have zero interest in the outdoor arts, i.e., gardening, mowing the lawn, weeding, etc. I did enough of that as a kid, trust me. But a friend today sent me this and I think that I might actually contemplate cutting the lawn if I had one those. That is the most beautiful lawn mower I have ever seen in my life. The fact that it's based on the most beautiful race car ever in the history of the world has nothing to do with it.

Another reason I like apartment living is that when something goes wrong, I call Schneider and he fixes it. Like last night. When the pipe burst in the wall between the shower and the kitchen. I had just taken a shower with plans of crawling into bed and reading a little bit and was standing in the bathroom when I noticed Boris looking at something most intently. I looked where he was looking and what did I see? Rusty water running around both sides of the toilet. Oy vey. I ascertained that it was not the toilet that was causing the problem and threw the bathmat on the pool of water between the tub and the toilet. I went into the kitchen where I heard hissing as when the radiator is leaking water. Oy.Vey. I threw on clothes as I was in my nightshirt and it's not fit for public consumption and ran across the hall to Schneider's apt. He came over, took two steps into the kitchen and then bolted out of the apt. A few moments later, the hissing stopped.

I decided it would be smart to move the stuff I had stored under the kitchen sink out of the way of the panel that leads to the shower plumbing when once again I noticed Boris looking at me and then looking at the front door. My neighbor was at the door (which was open) and was wondering if Schneider had turned off the water because she didn't have any. "Oh, yeah, that must be what he did. The hissing in my kitchen stopped. I'm sorry."

Schneider comes back with his son, who is now old enough to drink beer - I remember when he was a little kid. ARGH! How does this happen?? They checked the pipes out and then disappeared again with the son telling me, "Don't drink my beer." I hadn't even realised he had brought one in with him. It was a Bud Light, so it was in no danger from me.

Schneider & Son come back and he informs me that I will not be able to shower in the morning (OH NO! I mean, yes I had just taken a shower and wasn't bound to need one in the morning to get clean, but it's how I wake up. I don't drink coffee.), but if I really needed to, he would leave his door unlocked and I could go over to his place (he's married) to shower in the morning. I didn't want to do that, really, nor disturb them, so I told him it was okay. I have short hair, so it got the washcloth treatment this morning.

The problem, as it turns out, relates back to the guy who was the super before Schneider. His name was Scott and he was about friggin' worthless. He would NOT turn on the boiler until Dec. 1. My first winter there I would come home from work to a 40-degree apartment whereupon I'd put on a pair of socks, a pair of long johns (top and bottom), another pair of socks, a pair of sweats (top and bottom) and then climb into bed with the electric blanket on high. I would call him every day with the temperature report. All to no avail - his building, however, which was directly behind mine, was very nicely heated. I went over once to pay my rent and found that it was toasty warm. Fucker. His wife was a complete wench, as well.

Anyway, when Scott converted what is now my bathtub into a shower (it's 80+ years old and apparently only came with a tub), he connected galvanised pipe to copper pipe which is quite the plumbing no-no from what Schneider tells me for a variety of reasons - they expand at different rates/temps, they cause build-up (which caused the galvanised pipe to burst last night), etc. Therefore, today Schneider and his son(s) are in my kitchen tearing my wall out to fix my shower, so that I may bathe tomorrow morning.

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At Thursday, 08 November, 2007, Blogger fermicat said...

That is one bitchin' lawnmower.

Inconvenient, late night breakages and problems are the bane of home ownership. We have had our share in this circa 1965 home we bought. However, not all apartments or rental houses have a Schneider.

At Thursday, 08 November, 2007, Blogger dr sardonicus said...

That mower looks like fun! I'm going to need a new push mower next season. I have a Toro riding mower for most of my spread, but there's a few places where there's too many roots and rocks for the riding mower to deal with.

No heat before December 1? In Detroit? Was that man insane?

At Friday, 09 November, 2007, Blogger Kathleen said...

Fermi - I love that lawn mower. True on the Schneider issue. Mine keeps threatening to leave and I keep informing him he can't leave. He's the bestest ever.

Doc - I want that lawn mower! No, I think he was trying to get in good with the owner to keep his job - no heat, no costs. I was young and stupid or I would have called the city. I now know better.

At Friday, 09 November, 2007, Blogger LL said...

That lawnmower is all sizzle and no steak. Now if it was a riding mower...

And fermi is right, you just have to look at KTM's old place to know that. But hey... nothing lasts forever.

At Friday, 09 November, 2007, Blogger Heather said...

That is the best par of apartment living that you have someone to fix bad things like that for you and they're there all the time! I hope it all gets fixed in a timely fashion! :)

At Saturday, 10 November, 2007, Blogger Sal said...

Totally agree with you about not wanting to live in a house. I occasionally get nostalgic for the suburbs but one trip back reminds me of what I escaped.

At Saturday, 10 November, 2007, Anonymous The Zombieslayer said...

It was a Bud Light, so it was in no danger from me.

I wouldn't drink that either, but I am reluctant to say anything bad about that corporation, for knowing several people who work there, they take good care of their employees. I try hard not to say anything bad about the few good corporations out there. Well, let's just say I won't drink their beer.

Who was Boris named after? Not Boris Vallejo by chance? I love Boris Vallejo.

And that lawn mower rocks. Our house in Chico (a small college town in Northern California) is a corner lot, so the lawn's huge.

Oh, by the way, I wrote the 2nd half of my latest post for you. I answered your question why as an economic conservative and gun nut I can't stand Bush.

I hope for your sake Schneider stays there for awhile. Seems like an awesome neighbor.

At Saturday, 10 November, 2007, Blogger Kathleen said...

LL - I think that's the difference between renting a house and renting an apt.

Heather - It's been jerry-rigged for now. Schneider wants to get a real plumber in to make it perfect.

Sal - I like my place because it's in the suburbs but close to stuff to which I can walk.

Zombie - I appreciate corporations that take care of their if they just made a drinkable beer.

Boris is named for Boris Said, 2003 Trans-am Champion and now a NASCAR driver (but I ignore that aspect because I love him and hate NASCAR).

You're in Chico? I thought you were in SF proper.

You and me both.

At Saturday, 10 November, 2007, Blogger Fantasy Writer Guy said...

I love being in an apartment. I won't go back to a house unless I can afford a proper crew of domestic slaves. Oops. I mean -- custodians.

Don't have a zxhfttsy fit...

At Sunday, 11 November, 2007, Anonymous badman said...

I'm getting the worst of both worlds - renting a house. So I have no emergency resident support to call, and I have to mow the bloody lawn cuz he's giving me a break on the rent. Don't even get to write off the interest payments on my taxes, no equity being built up, and the worst of it - no hot babes sunning by the pool.

At Sunday, 11 November, 2007, Anonymous The Zombieslayer said...

Kathleen - No, I just happen to own a house in Chico.

Oh, I say San Francisco because if I said the small suburb I live in, nobody would know what I'm talking about. It would be like saying you live in Chicago when you really live in Oak Park.

At Monday, 12 November, 2007, Blogger Kathleen said...

FWG - Nice to know you're a kindred spirit.

badman - Oh yeah, that's definitely the worst of all worlds.

Zombie - Ah, gotcha. I probably would, having lived there and all, but it's easier, like saying I live in Detroit when I really live in a suburb.

At Monday, 12 November, 2007, Blogger Beth said...

Wow, what a lawnmower. I wonder if it's green. =)

I rented a lot in the beginning of our marriage. I just hate neighbors. I hate sharing an abode with people I don't know who like loud music and late night guests. I'm like Mrs. Kravitz on crack.

I hope your pipe problem get fixed quickly. The Schneider thing made me laugh. Used to love that show.

At Thursday, 15 November, 2007, Blogger SzélsőFa said...

I'm just the opposite type I'm afraid :)
I don't like to live so close to people. A shared stairway is one of the tortures man ever invented.


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