Dating Sucks Big Time
I've been contemplating a number of different posts regarding the loan to the Big Three, but I'm so angry right now that I can't do it, especially if I got negative responses from my blogging buddies, because then I'd be more upset and I don't want to do that to myself.
For the past three months (I was surprised to figure out it was that long, actually), I had a profile up at a couple of different dating sites. One free and one pay (but I got a deal for 3 months – which ends next week – well, it did, until I canceled it this morning), and pretty much all they did was reinforce that I don't want to date. For the first two months I'd have guys who'd e-mail me through the free site and then just disappear after a few e-mails. Or I'd get an e-mail from the site saying You and So-and-So gave each other 4 (or 5) stars in looks (and/or personality), but then So-and-So would never e-mail me and I'm old-fashioned enough that I'd think the guy should initiate contact.
A few guys I'd notice something cool in their profile, so I'd e-mail them about it (obscure movie that we both liked, etc.) and I'd get no response at all, so I gave that up.
I'd get e-mails from fat, ugly, 60-year-olds with dead animals on the wall over their camouflage-capped heads saying crap like "like ur smile." Jesus, was the '"yo" that hard to type? It's not fucking text messaging (not that I approve of that, either).
Saturday night I met a guy from the free site for dinner. He was older than I really wanted, but I was trying to have an open mind. His profile stated that he was 5'8" which I thought was a tad short (I'm 5'6") but I decided not to be judgemental. That went out the window when he showed up and was shorter than me. For heaven's sake, WTF? Like I'm not going to figure out that he's 5'4" when I actually meet him? The problem here isn't the height (or lack thereof), it's the lying. Of course, most men claim they're 2" taller than they actually are, so maybe he truly believes it. Still. And then there was the Shrek-like beer belly. I work bloody hard trying to stay/keep/get into shape, and it's obvious he hasn't seen anything remotely exercise-like in years. *sigh* We won't even discuss his two Japanese vehicles.
Oh, and he took a phone call during dinner. I had my phone on silent in my purse. His was on LOUD ring and it took him a while to dig it out of his pocket. He looked at (I thought he had silenced the ring at least while he figured out who was calling), and said, "I have no idea who this is." which to me means, then don't freaking answer it...but he did in the middle of the second ring. Turned out it was somebody who was coming to the house the next day to refinance it. He was on the phone a couple of minutes which I thought was a tad rude in the middle of a date - to say nothing of a first date.
Then there was the guy from the pay dating site. It semi-fashions itself after eHarmony, so you have to go through Steps. First, you express mutual interest, next up you share "Relationship Essentials," and then comes short-answer questions. At this point, I was ready to give up. Then comes e-mail. This one guy sent me an e-mail telling me how handsome, mature, patient he was, along with the statement "I'm no boy, but a man and a big one at that." Dear God in Heaven! I responded, however, with a nice e-mail asking questions and what have you – try to keep an open mind. The next thing I got from him was a First Meeting request…well, it was Halloween weekend and I had plans the entire weekend, so I e-mail him back saying that and suggesting that more e-mails wouldn't be remiss (remember, he didn't answer any of my questions). That was the last I heard from him. I checked my profile a couple of weeks later and he had closed me out. So much for patience, eh? Or maturity.
After thinking about (and discussing) the whole mess Saturday night (went out for beers with the girls after dinner with the short Shrek), Sunday (movie with BST, then dinner with BST, Marianne and a friend o hers) and yesterday with Maureen, I sent him an e-mail saying thank you for dinner but I've decided against dating and dating sites and wished him luck in his search. And then I deleted my profiles at both sites and while I'm a little sad that I gave up, I also know that in the long run, it'll be better. It was so much like daily rejection, wondering what the hell is wrong with me that this guy or that guy couldn't be bothered to respond to thoughtful e-mails.
The guy from Saturday night is having some problem taking no for an answer...he's on his third e-mail. *sigh* My friend Lisa read his second message (I was a chicken) and said, "He's acting like a girl." LOL And in his 3rd e-mail he wants to be friends. He wasn't that interesting, I have to say.