Monday, July 31, 2006

Tahiti 80

I have much to tell you all about this weekend, but I have to start with this new blog I just found. Okay, I lie, I didn't find it. KristinTracy found it and I just followed her link. I thought he was hilarious and he writes quick, easy-to-read entries that made me laugh. Just felt the need to share.

I am now the proud owner of an air conditioner – that works! Woohoo!!! I had this one put in the living room, since the whole "let's put it in the dining room in order to keep the bathroom cool, so that I could put on make-up without sweating" scenario worked for crapola last summer. I have to say that it's awfully nice to sit in my apt. w/o sweating to death. I can wear clothing in my apt. again. Now I just have to get the AC in my car re-charged as it was fighting a losing battle on Saturday to keep me cool. I love sweating to death while dressed for a wedding.

I wore the Marilyn Monroe dress I got in New Orleans last year. And at one point, I stood over the air register at my friend's house and blew my skirt up. I'm so Marilyn-esque! LOL! NOT! I guess the dress is called the Obi Dress, but it was still pretty Marilyn Monroe-esque, so I'm going with it.

The wedding itself was fine. The bride had 12 bridesmaids and two Maids of Honor. The groom had 12 groomsmen and three Best Mans(men). The church was air conditioned and the ceremony was quite lovely. The reception was very nice. Sit down, family style dinner with just enough vegetarian food to keep me going. I was stuffed by the time dessert arrived, I can't even imagine how full I would have been if I ate meat! I didn't dance as it wasn't my kind of music. Actually, I danced to one song (they had played a song I love earlier in the night, but for some reason, no one was dancing at that time and I wasn’t going to be the only one on the dance floor – I'll do it at my bar, but not a wedding), and then I was done. I hate having stupid feet which hurt. I love my Chucks but they don't look good with the Obi dress. I stayed way later than I wanted to, because I had gone with a co-worker. She was drinking like a fish (if I had drunk what she had drunk I would have been found the next day underneath a table), and I had to drive her home. The deal had been agreed upon in advance, so it wasn't an issue. I would have gladly driven except for the lack of air conditioning in my car.

I got completely blindsided at the reception, and felt like I had been punched. A couple from my church was there and I went up to talk to them. Now at church, Carol always greets me with a huge smile and wave (or hug if we're not on opposite sides of the church), but she didn't greet me at all at the reception. I was asking how they were as I had missed two Sundays in a row and they don't go every Sunday to my church, as she's a member at a different church. She was sitting there completely stone-faced and wouldn't even look at me, so I was basically talk to Roy. He said they were getting ideas for their wedding, so I asked if they had set a date yet. Roy said, Yes, June 9. I asked if they had chosen which church yet, hers or his. No decision on that yet. I asked if her church was air conditioned since ours is not. "Oh that's a good point." During all this Carol is just sitting there with this nasty look on her face, but I simply thought she was in a bad mood for whatever reason. I asked if they found a hall yet, all basic questions, I thought, for people planning a wedding, and nothing overly personal. She finally said, "Why are you getting into my business?" I was floored. WHAT? "Why are you asking all these questions about my personal business? This is none of your business. I'm making all the plans for the wedding. He doesn't know anything." I could feel my face burning beet red as she had said this in front of a table full of people I didn't know. I stammered, "I'm sorry, Carol, but have I done something to upset you?" because she's always been so nice to me before this. She responded, "Yes, you're getting into my personal private business. I know you to speak to you. I don't know you well enough for you to be getting into my personal business. Why are you asking all these questions?" Everybody at the table was looking at me surreptitiously, and I felt about *this* big. If I had had my wits about me, I would have said something about being part of a church family, as those words are always being tossed around at church, but I was too dumbfounded by this completely unprovoked attack. I sat there trying to come up with something to say, but finally just stood up and said, "I'll see you at church." And walked away. I wish I had thought to say, "If you don't want people asking about your wedding plans, you shouldn't tell them you're engaged. If you're so damned private, keep your news to yourself." And I'd liked to say that I didn't say anything because I took the high road, but the truth is that my brain has simply stopped functioning at that point.

Back at my table, my friend looked at me and asked if I were all right. I was so upset that I almost cried right there. I just smiled a little and said, "I'm fine." I glanced over at Roy and Carol's table a few moments later and I could tell that they were having an argument. I like to think that Roy was asking her why she treated me that way, but I'm afraid she was probably in charge, although what she'd be saying I have no clue. I'd like to say that I shrugged it off and didn't let it bother me, but that'd be a lie. I let it bother me all night. I almost didn't go to church, even though I knew they weren't going to be there.

One of the reasons I started going to my church is that it had restored to me my faith in people. The people there are so loving and warm, generally. Now I was viewing them all as complete hypocrites, wondering how they would treat me OUTSIDE of church, but I got up and went anyway, knowing that I couldn't judge everybody by one person. I wanted to see Cherrell and see what her thoughts were on Carol. I wasn't planning on telling anybody else, just Cherrell. And I didn't, but there's no stopping Cherrell when she has the bit between her teeth. She was so upset by the incident on my behalf that she was crying – she's such a sweet kid (19, I think, now, maybe 20). She turned to her Mom and said, "See, this is why I don't want to come here. They're all a bunch of hypocrites." I said, "Uh, Cherrell, I wasn't going to tell anybody else." But she didn't care, Cherrell now had a cause! I did feel better after telling Cherrell and in the end, her mother, her aunt and my mother, because they were all appalled by Carol's behavior, and I was assured that I hadn't done anything wrong. Cherrell said, "That woman better not ever speak to me, because I will go off on her." And she will, too. Johnny, my church mother's son, told me that I should confront Carol the next time I see her and say my piece and then let it go. He didn't know about whom we were talking, but caught the gist of the problem. I told him that I had decided that I was simply never going to speak to her again. He insists that I should tell her off and then never speak to her again, and maybe he's right, but it's not my style. Ignoring her existence is more my style, not that she'll care, I don't think, because if she did, why did she speak to me like that? It does show me that once she and Roy are married, she doesn't plan on going back and forth between churches. She's not just making all the decisions about the wedding, but probably his life too.

The stress of Saturday night gave me a headache which ended up lasting until I went to bed last night, and I can tell that it's not actually gone, just biding its time, waiting to come back. I was just drained from all the emotion and the headache and did damn near nothing yesterday – I watched the Champ Car race and the movie Syriana. Has anybody else watched Syriana? Bloody hell, but I was confused. I did not enjoy the style at all. I contemplated keeping it a day longer and watching it again when my brain wasn't hurting me, but decided I didn't care that much. If someone wants to fill me, I'm willing to devote a few more moments to it.


At Monday, 31 July, 2006, Anonymous Urs said...

My comeback for those situations... "I'm just trying to make small talk. It's not as if I actually care." :)

At Monday, 31 July, 2006, Blogger Dave said...

Shitheadbitchbastard! That little chick has pissed me right off too! If you happen to get invited to a shower or (God forbid) the wedding, I'd stay home, but send a nice big box of pads and a crate of Midol. Does that poor guy have any idea what he's in for?

At Monday, 31 July, 2006, Blogger trinamick said...

How rude! First of all, the majority of us don't give a crap about other people's weddings in the first place. Asking questions is our way of pretending we care. People like that just make me want to scream.

"I guess we know who the upcoming star of Bridezillas will be!"

At Monday, 31 July, 2006, Blogger Sal said...

She's not worth the time, the effort, or the headache.

Syriana sucked! If this is the best my leftie friends can produce we don't have a prayer, what the hell was all the hype about? I so wanted to like the movie, but it seemed like a waste of celluloid to me.

At Monday, 31 July, 2006, Blogger Kathleen said...

Urs - Wish you had been with me.

Dave - I think he might have figured it out that night.

Trina - Oh, Cherrell's going to love that. We'll have to call her Bridezilla from now on.

Sal - Easy to say, harder to believe, but the headache is mostly gone. Thanks for the agreement on Syriana, because I was not thrilled with it.

At Tuesday, 01 August, 2006, Blogger Jason said...

Many, many moons ago when I was kid and went to church I realized that church world and real world are separate. Some of my best friends in Sunday School or church youth group didn't even publicly aknowledge me in school. Some of them were pretty popular in school, but I certainly wasn't. We were friends once a week when no one else was around. This really doesn't have anything to do with your situation, but church world and public life are distinctly different. I had a crush on the pastor's daughter...she didn't like me back in either world.

At Tuesday, 01 August, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

Knowing me, I would have had some smart-ass comeback to her bitchiness that would have embarrassed everyone I was with! I do that a lot! But how rude!!! Maybe it's the stress of planning a wedding but that's no excuse to treat you that way! I'd like to flick her in the head for you!

I checked out that guy's site and you're right - really funny stuff!

At Tuesday, 01 August, 2006, Blogger Kathleen said...

Jason - I thought this church was different - and it probably is - I can't judge everybody by one person who isn't even a member.

Heather - Thank you. I'd let you flick her in the head for me! ;-)


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