The Lie Which Refuses to Die - Black Tape for a Blue Girl

This week I'm taking on the issue of those pesky ambiguous traffic signs. I think I only have two to discuss, so it won't be quite the diatribe that the grammar post was.

The other day I was driving in Royal Oak and saw someone turn from the far left lane into the right lane. This might not seem to be a problem to you, except that the second left lane also can turn left…I think you see the problem.

I'll set it up for you. There are five lanes of eastbound traffic at this particular intersection (I696 service drive & Woodward). I was in the fourth lane with my turn signal on to indicate that I was turning left at Woodward (that lane can also go straight to turn at Main Street). The car that had been in front of me got into the fifth lane (i.e., far left lane), where he didn't have a choice, he had to turn left or hit a curb and cement guardrail doohickey. I made my turn into the far right lane as I wanted to head up Washington. I notice that the dumbshit in the car that had been in front of me made an exceptionally wide turn into the right lane, thankfully behind me. But, really, people. If two lanes can turn left (or even right), let's think about where we're turning. Far left lane into the far right lane is STUPID!!!

My other issue is the Yield sign. This sign actually means something!!!! It's NOT the same as NO SIGN!!! My problem location for this is the Southfield service drive southbound at Michigan Avenue. It means you're supposed to YIELD to traffic coming off the freeway. They aren't supposed to YIELD to you! And sometimes with a YIELD you actually have to STOP. I swear damn near nobody on that service drive even *thinks* about yielding. They just go and people coming off the freeway have to slam on their brakes to avoid hitting them. Dumbshits. I really wish they'd put a STOP sign there (like the Ford Road exit), because then people would at least contemplate YIELDING!


Monday, my sisters, niece and I took Grandma out for dinner for her 89th birthday (isn't she just the cutest?). She got to pick where we went and she chose The Olive Garden. Just an explanation for what follows.

Open Letter to The Olive Garden

Dear Olive Garden,

I just wanted to send you an FYI: Budweiser, Bud Light, Miller Lite, Coors Light, Michelob Ultra & O'Doul's are generally not considered to be "premium" beers – by anybody. Just because you call them that on your menu doesn't fool anybody. I'm guessing it's just so you can charge "premium" prices.

That is all,
Kathleen


I've almost done with my Christmas shopping. The only person left is my 17-year-old niece. I know what I'm going to get her, the problem is that I try to avoid malls this time of year and I've decided on a gift card to The Body Shop. I refuse to buy the girl clothes. I'd like to give her money for the college fund, except that as far as I know there is no college fund and she'd just use it to buy clothes. I'm hoping that she'll buy more than just make-up at The Body Shop and start taking care of her skin. Maybe I should just buy some skin care products, instead of the gift card, eh? My mother didn't teach me at all about skin care, so I want to rectify that wrong. I didn't get Grandma done until late last week when I ordered her a beautiful silk scarf from National Geographic and it's already arrived! It's a combination b-day/Christmas present as her birthday is so close to Christmas and she's impossible to buy for. She's been known to tell people what she wants for Christmas, but then buys it for herself before Christmas. I even got to the post office yesterday to mail presents off around the world. I had bought the LB's (little brother) Christmas present back in Sept. or Oct., but getting to the post office is a complete chore for me, so I had to make myself go yesterday so that it would get to CA before Christmas Day. I also mailed out a scarf for my aunt – it's technically her b-day present which was in October, but again, I'm not so good at getting to the post office. And lastly, there's a box heading to Iraq and Blue Meany. Nothing spectacular, just a little something to remind her that there are people stateside thinking about her.

This weekend is going to be hectic, starting with a Christmas concert Friday night. Saturday is Fucking Cookie Day followed by a party at Martha's. Sunday is church, followed by brunch at Grandma's country club, after which we all go to Grandma's and hang out and complain about how full we are while Grandma putters in the kitchen trying to put out snacks. She's so darn cute. I'll sit in the "knitting" chair because I'm still knitting furiously trying to get everything done that needs to be done. Although if Aunt Joanie suggests a game of Scrooge, I will put the knitting down because there's nothing as fun as a high stakes (pride) game of Scrooge (although if Mom plays, it's automatically less fun as she takes after her father – we all loved Grandpa, but he was a well known poor loser – and she's an even worse winner. She's lucky I don't slap her as she whines her way through the game.).

I just told you about two family traditions (F'ing Cookie Day and Brunch) – do you have any family traditions you either hate or absolutely love?

P.S. I swear FWG, I'm working on the book post.