Word of the Day

I signed up a while back for the word of the day from dictionary.com...today's (or at least I read it today) is "nonplus." And that's EXACTLY how I'm feeling right now. NONPLUSSED.

Now I know most of you have decided that I'm not blogging that much because I'm spending too much time on Facebook (trust me, I am not). I just don't feel like spending a boatload of time on the computer once I get home from work. I'd rather knit....it's that time of year. Anyway, the Saturday after Thanksgiving I went to a High School All Year Class Reunion. Those of you have been reading me for a couple of years know that I went two years ago and declared that I was done with such bullshit. *sigh* And so I was. Then a close friend from high school found me on Facebook and while I was reluctant to go there, her message seemed genuine, so I replied and then she asked me if I would be attending the reunion. *double sigh* I responded, "Honestly? Only if you're there." *triple sigh* She was making the trip from Happy Valley and said she wanted to see me.

I contacted Marianne, the only person from high school with whom I still speak or spend time, to see if she could go. She had her kids that weekend but was going to see if the boyfriend could watch them. Turns out he had to spend time with his mother and I couldn't, in good faith, make Marianne leave her kids alone for a couple of hours to hold my hand. They're old enough, but she doesn't like doing it if she's not close to home. *quadruple sigh* I told her I was an adult and could go by myself.

I had made sure in the meantime that a few other people I knew were going to be there (a guy from work and his sister Mary from my class). The OS asked if it were okay for her to go, which I thought was a ridiculous thing to ask as it was being held in a bar and she had gone to the same high school. Mary showed up as I was about to walk out because I'm really a wuss when it comes to high school. She's much more self-assured than I am, apparently, so she decided to go for it and I followed her. We found John S standing at a table along the outside windows. He told us that he had laid claim to the same table the year before and didn't leave it. I decided that was good enough for me, and I stuck with him. We chatted with each other and others as they walked past. Finally, the girl I was there to see showed up and it was good to see her. She told me that I look great (I scoffed) and that I needed to gain weight as I was too skinny in high school. She really did look fabulous and she introduced us to her husband who was very nice. All in all, it wasn't the hell I had expected it to be.

To get back to why I'm nonplussed...one of the guys from high school who made my life hell just sent me a Friend request. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? This guy is the reason NONE of my supposed friends talked to me through most of senior year and ignored me completely at the five year reunion (my supposed best friend and locker partner - she moved out of our locker halfway through our senior year without telling me - walked away from me at the reunion after I walked up to her and said Hi. Literally, she looked straight at me and walked away.), and he sends me a Facebook Friend Request!!! The reason I blame him? Just after senior year I remember asking Judy (the one who walked away from me) why I was never invited to events that the group was doing and she said, "Well, Norm and Dan usually set things up and they don't like you, and we just don't think about it." As if an insecure 17-year-old needs to hear that. And it doesn't matter that I'm no longer 17 wondering why people who are supposed to be my friends don't like me, because part of that 17-year-old still exists. Which is sad and pathetic, I know, but doesn't change the facts or the way I view the world.

So, should I be a wuss and Friend him or Ignore him and let him know that all these years later he got to me?