Thursday, February 24, 2005

Commentary and Gym Stories

I started off the week so well, updating my diary on Monday, but then I got into slacker mode.

It was bloody cold walking in today. I mean really, is winter ever going to freaking end? I'm already tired of it…hell, I've been tired of it since December! It was officially 22˚F, but the RealFeel is 16˚F. Whatever happened to the good ol' windchill number? That's what I want to know. That was a concept you could get your teeth into. This RealFeel crap just sounds like they're trying to get away with something. I don’t know what though, but something.

I read this article the other day and as I had been wondering how this Presidents' Day crap had come about it, I found it very interesting. So from now, I will be calling the third Monday in February Washington's Birthday, just like it was when I was a kid. Not that it really matters, as all it really means is that there's no mail delivery that day.

Just another reason to hate Blockbuster. All those commercials about no late fees and it doesn't say anything about 8 days or BUYING the DVD. Not that I go there anyway, as I'm generally too lazy to drive all the way to Blockbuster when I want to watch a movie and then try to decide what to watch. I'm still and always in love with Netflix. I know that the whole No Late Fees at Blockbusters is related to Netflix coming in and breaking up their party. And I believe fully in supporting the competitor who came up with a new and original idea.

And here is a lovely (NOT) tribute to Martin Luther King on the holiday to celebrate his birthday. These bastards need to be strung up just like they did to this poor cat. I can't even begin to imagine how that poor cat felt, being so trusting of people and then having its trust smashed literally out of it. I don't want to think about its last few minutes on this earth. Just another reason, people, of why you should keep your cats indoors. You never know when complete shitheads like these will come along and view your cat as something just to kill or torture. If you love your cats, keep them inside!!!

I wish this country as a whole would get serious about animal abuse/torture/killing and impose some real punishment on people who would treat an animal this way. Everything I've ever read from FBI profilers about serial killers is that they all got their start by abusing animals. But people have a tendency to laugh it off, especially if it's a cat, and just say, "Oh, it's boys being boys." What a crock of shit that is. No, it's sadistic assholes getting their start. I remember being a teenager and somebody saying something about frying ants with a magnifying glass and the force of the sun. I was horrified as I had never heard of such a thing and I had certainly never dreamed of doing anything to hurt them. I know that I've probably killed hundreds of ants over the years just by walking down the sidewalk, but it was never intentional and if I saw a bunch of them I would try to walk around them. I never pulled wings off a fly, although I will confess that I've smacked the shit out of any mosquito that gets within a foot of me.

I think I've mentioned that I've been going to the gym for the past month, right? Well, today I fit into a pair of pants that 3-4 months ago I could not wear. I fit in them, essentially, but they were tight and it was not a pretty sight. It's good to have some positive reinforcement with this exercise experiment.

The gym is a great source of inspiration though – for this diary. Dear God, can we please, please, please, please, pretty please with sugar on top, make nylon running shorts illegal???? PLEASE!!! I beg of you. There is this one guy there who two weeks ago was wearing sunglasses indoors while he worked out (now I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here and thinking that maybe, just maybe – but not likely – he forgot his regular glasses that day, but this is winter in Michigan, there is no sun). And then this past Monday he was there wearing a long sleeved turtleneck to work out and these nasty red nylon running shorts. You know the ones with the flapped sides? I'm sorry, but those should only be worn when running actual marathons or when you're outside and not in a gym with dozens of unsuspecting people. And they weren't even the type with the built-in panty (are they called that when men wear them?). At one point, he was following Julie and me around the weight floor (okay, he wasn't "following" us, per se, but he must have been on the same training type program), so every time we looked up, there he was. ARGH!!!! It was like a train wreck!

And the other look which should be banned is spandex bike shorts (particularly WHITE) underneath the aforementioned nylon running shorts. That was the look I saw yesterday on this old guy. And I couldn't avoid him, because I was on the rowing machine and he was on the cross-trainer right in front of me. It was so not a pretty sight. Tony and I had seen the same look on a woman on the cruise ships when we did our morning walk and we were all WTF, but at least it was on a woman!!! This was an old guy and his nylon running shorts had a pattern. And when he was on the cross-trainer (a cross-country ski-type machine), the belt was the same color as his shorts and it seems to hike them up. I was traumatized and was so very thankful when he got done. Oh, yeah, and he was wearing a spandex white tank top dealie, so it was a look. Whatever happened to shorts and a t-shirt for working out!!!??? I must admit, actually, that the majority of people do wear shorts or workpants (it is winter) and a t-shirt for working out, but there are the occasional AAUUGGHH! moment.

And then there are the foreign born worker-outers and for some reason they favor button-down shirts for working out. There aren't too many of those, but every once in a while one will catch my eye and I just have to shake my head. I have enough t-shirts, perhaps I should give them one. I mean, really, how do you work out in long-sleeves with buttoned cuffs???

And then there are the anorexics – one male, one female. Okay, the man might not be anorexic, but he really does look like he could use a good meal. The woman is most definitely anorexic. I swear her thighs (and she was wearing workout pants when I saw her) are as thin as my ankles. And her arms? As thin as my wrists. She is literally skin and bones. I asked one of the guys there about her and he said that her friend tells her all the time to eat as does her husband. Well, kids, this is not something that works on anorexics or bulimics. You have to get them to a doctor. This woman is so thin that her face looks like the quintessential alien.

And then there are the klutzes, namely me. Yeah, I'm so graceful that I managed to fall flat on my ass the other day. I was cleaning the elliptical machine (so the next person wouldn't have to deal with my sweat) and managed to get my foot caught between the two bars and down I went – right in front of everybody. I hate being a klutz. It's like I have no sense of balance these days. I’m constantly trying desperately to save myself from falling over, if I even get the slightest little bit off-balance. No, I don't have an earache or water in the ear, so I don't think it's related to that. I think I'm just a big ol' freaking klutz!!!


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