Friday, April 07, 2006

As I Sat Sadly By Her Side

100 Things I Dislike/Despise/Hate:
(In no particular order)
(which, for the record, took me three weeks to come up with)

1. Being called Kathy.
2. White sweatshirts
3. The cafeteria at work
4. Tom Cruise
5. The Religious Right
6. My lack of artistic talent
7. Winter/Being cold
8. Caffeine
9. Intolerance
10. Amber (if it's so freaking rare, why is there so much of it for sale EVERYWHERE? And I swear it all looks like plastic.)
11. Hippopotamuses
12. Getting out of bed in the morning
13. Cold as ice toilet seats
14. Junk mail
15. Speed traps
16. Health insurance companies who deny treatment to patients on basis of cost while the CEO makes $22.2 million in one year.
17. TFG (If you need help figuring out what the "F" stands for, just ask.)
18. Medium point pens
19. Snow
20. Arthritis
21. The guy at the gym who hacks every 15 seconds while on the treadmill
22. Self-righteous people
23. Black Pepper
24. People who are too bloody lazy to go to the copy room to get paper, so they put 3-hole paper in the printer. I want to smack those assholes!
25. Spam (the mystery meat or is it Soylent Green?)
26. People with absolutely no personality.
27. Sheryl Crow
28. My mother's martyrdomness
29. That the transgender at work dresses and accessorises better than I do.
30. Driving in Chicago
31. Calling my doctor's office.
32. The chemical smells of cleaning solutions (make me nauseous)
33. White chocolate
34. Wheat beers
35. Taking children to the Zoo (I like to look at the animals for longer than 10 seconds)
36. Horror movies
37. Misuse of the apostrophe (you don't need the apostrophe to form the plural of a word, my pet peeve)
38. People who brake at green lights. Those fuckers always brake, the light turns yellow, they sail through and I'm stuck sitting at a light I shouldn't be.
39. Shoot-outs in the NHL
40. Walnuts (basically any nuts in my cookies or brownies, but especially walnuts which are just vile)
41. Pumpkin pie (you can put all the damn walnuts you want to into pumpkin pie, as I'm not going anywhere near it)
42. When I can't find somebody to go to the DSO w/me
43. Beautiful weather on Thursdays and crappy, cold, rainy weather on Saturdays
44. Engineers
45. People who borrow my books and don't return them
46. Strawberry jam (too sweet)
47. Gin
48. Puking
49. Ultra-violent movies, e.g., Robocop I & II
50. Airfares right now
51. Cold rain
52. Stupid people
53. Being my mother's travel agent/entertainment
54. Soy milk
55. Salt
56. Oatmeal
57. Lavender scented candle from Yankee Candle (way too strong)
58. Babysitting the Terror Children
59. Going to the gym and seeing no results
60. George W. Bush
61. Participating in athletic/sporting events as I have no athletic ability or hand-to-eye coordination whatsoever
62. Being "throttled" by Netflix
63. Blind dates
64. Escalators
65. Yellow gold
66. Diamonds
67. Small, discreet jewelry
68. April showers
69. Mud
70. Outlook 2003
71. Most hip-hop
72. Racists
73. Sexists
74. Turquoise
75. Southwestern jewelry
76. The "n" word
77. Watching the Red Wings lose
78. Watching Michael Schumacher win F1 races (if he gets another pole and takes the pole record from Senna, you'll hear me scream)
79. Concierto de Aranjuez by Rodrigo
80. People who don't believe in global warming
81. Companies who pollute w/o compunction
82. Selfish people
83. The new Target set-up
84. Being wet through to my socks and underwear
85. My complete lack of self control re: buying Chuck Taylors, books, CDs, DVDs (I'm going to take my credit card out of my purse, not that'll do me any good since I know the bloody number by heart).
86. Filing
87. Watching an F1 race only to see Kimi Raikkonen getting knocked out or some stupid cheap part on his car failing.
88. Having to listen to Bruno Junqueira interviewed – what a friggin' whiner!
89. Having a bridal shower planned for the same day as the first race of the season.
90. The Formula 1 Silly Season since it seems never to end anymore. Used to start around the last month of the season and extend until all seats were taken, but now it lasts all year long.
91. The fact that my city doesn't have curbside recycling for apartment buildings, but also doesn't have a Saturday drop-off anymore, so I have to store empty bottles and cans in my tiny kitchen until I get to my aunt's house. The BIL gets upset if I fill up his recycling bin – don't ask me, I don't get it either.
92. People at plays/concerts who rustle their candy bag or candy wrapper for a good minute and a half.
93. Michigan Sinuses
94. Paying bills
95. Running, since between my knees and my lungs I'm reminded that I'm no longer 18.
96. Construction barrels
97. MS Windows
98. Spending an entire Saturday doing laundry or planning on it and having the Basement Dweller jump in and steal my dryer with my quarters in it.
99. The new Jo-Ann Etc. near my house
100. Having an ass the size of Texas
101. UPS


At Friday, 07 April, 2006, Blogger Patsy Darling said...

Any reason in particular you hate hippoes? Did you have a traumatic incident playing that hippo game as a child? And I don't understand how you hate hippoes more than George W.

At Friday, 07 April, 2006, Blogger Kathleen said...

Patsy Darling - Oh, trust me, I hate Dubya much more than I dislike Hippos. I actually enjoy the Hungry Hungry Hippo game, but my issue developed in college where I saw a film about the Mzima River and it showed how hippos are as dangerous to humans as crocodiles. Ever since then I've been very leery of them, besides, I LOVE rhinos and I get annoyed when someone says, "Oh, we don't have a stuffed rhino, but we do have hippos." SORRY, NOT THE SAME ANIMAL!

At Friday, 07 April, 2006, Blogger shezzy's sanitarium said...

I never realised there were so many things in the world to dislike!

At Friday, 07 April, 2006, Blogger Grant Miller said...

I'm glad you said you despise George W. Bush. But your opposition to gin offends me.

At Friday, 07 April, 2006, Blogger Kathleen said...

Shezzy - Only a few of those things are truly hated...

Grant - It tastes like a pine tree. I do like vodka.

At Friday, 07 April, 2006, Blogger Jason said...

I'm sorry, but your ass is not the size of Texas! More like a very pleasant Rhode Island. My ass is as big as Alaska including the Aleutian Islands. You can always drop your recyclables in our bin in Tuesday nights. Interesting but correct use of hippopotamuses rather than the more popular hippopotami.

At Friday, 07 April, 2006, Blogger Grant Miller said...

Thanks for all the comments on my site. Sorry you had to be in DeKalb for any reason. You are forgiven for being anti-gin. At least you are pro-vodka.

At Friday, 07 April, 2006, Blogger trinamick said...

That's a lot of things to hate. I'm so proud. :P

At Saturday, 08 April, 2006, Blogger MJW said...

So, judging by at least 99 of the things you hate, you wrote No. 9 -- "Intolerance" -- with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Correct? ;-P

As for the ice-cold toilet seats, there is a way to lessen the iciness a bit... How do I phrase this as tactfully as possible? Ummm... OK... Sit on the seat for a few seconds while still fully clothed. That warms it up nicely.

At Saturday, 08 April, 2006, Anonymous Clarity said...

Great list, Kathy! ;)

I HATE cold toilet seats. That's all they have over here in Germany! Freezing cold metal toilet seats. I wish I were a man and I could pee standing up!

I agree with just about everything on your list, we hate the same things! yay! could you NOT like Caffeine, White Chocolate and Pumpkin pie?!

Oh and you do NOT have an ass the size of texas and you DO have a great deal of artistic talent. Those scarves you knitted. THAT is art.

I also own one of your original pieces of artwork. The one you sent me in the package that you said "Oh you can just throw it away". I have it up in our office.

So no more talk about not having artistic talent!

Thanks so much for your caring and encouraging notes lately. That really helped me get through this transitional period and help me keep the right perspective.

I hope you're having a great weekend!

At Saturday, 08 April, 2006, Blogger Sal said...

I am so proud of you for hating white chocolate. Do you know that white chocolate isn't chocolate at all, kind of reminds me of Eminem and Vanilla Ice, yup all fit in the same category.

At Sunday, 09 April, 2006, Blogger shezzy's sanitarium said...

thank you for visiting my blog...and in answer to your question, no I haven't read butchers boy, but I will put it on my 'to read' standing at about a gazillion and one books

At Sunday, 09 April, 2006, Blogger GoingLoopy said...

When I make lists like this, the shit that really bugs me the most tends to end up near the bottom...because I'm so focused on the crap I perceive to be non-obvious that I forget the ones that surely EVERYONE hates. :)

At Monday, 10 April, 2006, Blogger Beth said...

OK, I have to know ... why do you hate Tom Cruise and the new Jo Ann's? LOL I don't hate anyone. Makes me sound like a hippie.

At Tuesday, 11 April, 2006, Blogger mr. schprock said...

Wow, Kathy, that's quite a list.


At Wednesday, 12 April, 2006, Blogger Scott said...

Aye carumba but that is a complete list. How did you manage to list a hundred items?

At Wednesday, 12 April, 2006, Blogger Kathleen said...

Welfl - Pppphhhhfffffttttttt!!!!

Clarity - You're too sweet. ;-)

Sal - Exactly! There's nothing even resembling chocolate in white chocolate! It's nasty!

Loopy - I found a whole bunch of things Friday night that I had missed - umbrellas, some sort of annoying driver, smoking in restaurants, etc. ;-)

Beth - Tom Cruise keeps playing himself in every movie - he tries to get by in life through his looks and winning smile - that and his freakazoid Scientology is reason enough. The new Jo-Ann's has a messed up set-up. Same as the new Target. Don't change things, your customers know where to go to get what they want.

Schprockie - I should have known... ;-)

Scott - I'll bet if you started one and gave yourself a few weeks, you'd have a heckuva list yourself. :-)

At Wednesday, 12 April, 2006, Blogger MJW said...

I think you got your reply to Clarity mixed up with your reply to me. ;-)


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